The Princess and the Pauper and the Other Pauper
by fuzzysox and slippers
Summary: Princess Shinji has gone missing. It is up to her tutor Tachibana, friend Kamio, and look a like Yukimura to save her. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Here is a list of characters you can use as a refrence if it gets a little confusing. Hopefully it wont though :D And just so you know, it starts off somewhat retarded, but then we got more serious about it.**

**Characters**

Princess - Shinji

Female Pauper - Yukimura

Tutor - Tachibana

Male Pauper - Kamio

Good Prince - Oshitari

Evil Queen - Kirihara

King - Kabaji

Evil Prince - Mizuki

Cat - Akutsu

Henchmen - Ryoma, Momo, Sengoku

Maid - Yuuta

Guards - Bobby Max, Taka, Sanada, Saeki, Kaidou

Pairings are KamioShinji and YukimuraOshitari (hey don't complain, there was almost KiriharaKabaji)

* * *

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Ibu Shinji. She was a very lonely princess. Her father wanted her to marry Prince Mizuki. Prince Mizuki was an evil person who only cared about himself. If Princess Shinji were to marry him, then she would not only be living with Prince Mizuki, but his evil mother named Queen Kirihara. Queen Kirihara was even worse than her self-absorbed son. Poor princess Shinji wanted nothing to do with this dysfunctional family. The only thing keeping her out of a deep and dark depression was her close friend and tutor, Tachibana. 

"Oh Tachibana, what ever shall I do?" Whined the depressed princess.

"Perhaps a stroll down in the commoner's market will take your mind off things. You always did ever so enjoy that." Came Tachibana's response.

"Yes, I agree. Go Tachibana; get the carriage ready, please. Make sure it's the one with the pretty red curtains, and the white horses. But they all have to be girls. I don't like boy horses. They scare me. What was the name of that one that did that thing? What was it he did…" Said Princess Shinji. Tachibana left so he didn't have to hear Princess Shinji mumbling about random stuff.

When they arrived in the commoner's market in the carriage with the pretty red curtains and the white female horses, they walked around until Princess Shinji spotted a little flower shop with a horticulturist working outside, who looked a lot like Princess Shinji.

"Oh my gosh!" cried Princess Shinji. "Doesn't that horticulturist look just like me?"

Tachibana escorted the Princess over to the flower shop to bless the worker with their royal presence.

"All hail Princess Shinji!" Cried Tachibana.

"Tachibana, please, you're embarrassing me…" Complained Princess Shinji. "Besides, we can't let anyone know I'm down here, we'll get in so much trouble from my father, King Kabaji."

"Right, I'll go get some punch." Said Tachibana. He left.

"Hello my dear." Greeted Shinji.

"G'day old bean." Responded the pauper.

"You're very pretty. Even if you look just like me. I'm not usually so conceited, but the world is such a lucky place, having two women as beautiful as us."

"Why, thank you!" Said the pauper.

"I'm Princess Shinji, as you probably already know, but, what is your name?"

"Oh, my name is Yukimura Seiichi. It truly is an honor to meet you like this!" Yukimura was very excited, but still couldn't help but notice a sad aura around the princess (Just because SHE's cool like that). "Far be it from me to meddle with someone else's personal life, but…is something troubling you? I would think that with the wedding coming up so soon that you would be a bit more cheerful."

Princess Shinji sighed. "But you see…it's exactly that." Yukimura looked confused, but Shinji felt there was no harm in sharing her true feelings with someone who had such a kind face. "I truly don't want to marry Prince Mizuki. He's so cruel and wicked, not to mention he's fruity, has a funny taste in clothing and he has a laugh that could make a small child cry."

"Oh my," Said Yukimura, very concerned for her new acquaintance. "I wish there was something I could do to help you, you poor thing."

Princess Shinji laughed slightly. "Don't worry, I believe you have cheered me up a little bit."

Before Princess Shinji and Yukimura the Commoner Horticulturist could continue their conversation, Tachibana returned and informed the two women that it was getting late and that King Kabaji thinks that his daughter is in the bathroom, and that it was awfully strange that she has been in their for so long.

"Thank you for taking me to the commoner's market, Tachibana." Said Princess Shinji.

"The things I do for you princess…"

Back at the palace…

"Father, you know I can't stand Prince Mizuki. Do I REALLY have to marry him?" Whined our poor distressed Princess.

"Usu" Replied King Kabaji.

"Actually my lord, there might me another way." Tachibana interjected, receiving a glare from King Kabaji. Commoners shouldn't speak when they aren't spoken to. "What about the noble Prince Oshitari, from the Kantou Region? I believe our beloved princess would like him better than the evil Prince Mizuki."

"Usu. The Princess Shinji shall wed Prince Oshitari instead of Prince Mizuki."

"Yay!" Cried the Princess. "I'm going to go tell that Horticulturist who looks like me the good news! I'm not sure why though. I just feel this strange thing inside, pulling me back to her. It's probably just something I ate. I wonder if I will be able to get the same carriage again. I like that one. However it did hurt whenever we went over a bump. Maybe I can bring some cushions. They will have to be red to match the curtains. And I think I will have to get a new harness for the horses, since the one already there is blue and that definitely doesn't match. However I like blue, so maybe…" And thus Princess Shinji made her way back to that same little flower shop, where she believed she would once again meet her look a like, all the while muttering about various things regarding carriages.

"Hello Your Highness, and welcome to Akira's Flower Shop. We're guaranteed to have everything to satisfy your gardening needs." Greeted the greeter. Who didn't look like Princess Shinji. Or the pauper Yukimura. Or was, for that matter, female.

Just then, Yukimura came out of the flower shop and spotted the princess.

"Oh, Princess Shinji! I can't believe you came back to see me! I'm so happy. By the way, this is my friend Kamio. He owns this nice little flower shop."

Princess Shinji couldn't help but notice that Kamio was undeniably, and extremely drop dead sexy.

Ahem…I mean…

Princess Shinji couldn't help but notice that Kamio was kind of cute. But she knew her duties and pushed her thoughts to the back of her head for once.

"A pleasure to meet you Kamio." Said the princess.

"The pleasure is all mine." Said Kamio giving a little bow of respect. "Now, what brings you to our poor little flower shop?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to Yukimura, but I suppose it's okay if you heard too. I mean, it's good news, and I guess you will all hear about it soon, because it is big news. It makes me glad that I can share it with someone I think I enjoy spending time with, I only met you but I think we can be friends. I hope we can be friends."

"Ah…Princess? As nice as it is to hear that you want to be friends with us, could you tell us the good news?" Asked Kamio, who was more than happy to agree to be friends with Shinji.

"My father, the all great and powerful King Kabaji, has agreed to cancel my engagement to the evil Prince Mizuki. Isn't that great! I can't imagine what a horrible life I would have had, living with that cream puff. The draw back, however, is that now I have to marry Prince Oshitari. Apparently he's a nice guy. And very good looking. But I want to marry for love. Or at least lust. But preferably love. I wonder if Prince Oshitari likes cats. I have a cat."

"I LOVE CATS!!" Screamed Kamio. I have a feeling he likes cats…

Yukimura glared at Kamio. "Keep it in your pants."

"What?" Kamio asked, feeling totally lost.

"Oh never mind."

"Ahem. Anyway, I should be going now. Prince Oshitari is supposed to be coming over so that I can meet him. I don't really want to, but I suppose I must, seeing as how we are engaged and all." Sighed Princess Shinji.

Before the princess could get to far however, Kamio called "I hope to see you soon Princess."

Then they looked into each other's eyes, and fell madly in love.

Actually, they didn't.

Well, they were about to look into each other's eyes, but then Kamio sneezed, and Shinji figured she should get home before her father got angry.

Unbeknownst to them, the evil Queen Kirihara was scheming.


	2. Chapter 2

The Queen had just received a letter from King Kabaji canceling the wedding between their children.

"I will not stand for this! It will simply not do!" Cursed Queen Kirihara after she read the letter. "How can that princess marry anyone other than my son?! I won't have it! I won't have it!"

She then called for her servants, Momoshiro, Ryoma and Sengoku.

"Momoshiro and Ryoma, I want you to kidnap Princess Shinji tonight and bring her to the old warehouse down the street. If she's not going to marry my son, then she won't marry anyone at all!"

Momo and Ryoma saluted and ran off with a potato sack and a wheelbarrow. Queen Kirihara turned her attention to Sengoku.

"You! Go find Prince Mizuki and inform him that he WILL be marrying Princess Shinji! In seven days! No wait…I like the number three better…In three days!" She ordered.

"But…you just said that she won't be marrying anyone at all." He responded.

"You givin' me lip, boy?"

"Absolutely not, I don't know what you're talking about, you are beautiful, you are the fairest one of all, Snow White ain't got shit on you!" Sengoku did his best to keep on the queen's good side…if there is one…

Back at the palace…

"Ah! Princess Shinji! There you are. You shouldn't wander off like that." Said Tachibana upon seeing the beautiful princess. "I mean, we were worried about you, but more so about the fact that you left your cat Akutsu here all alone. You know how he gets."

"Oh no, what did he do this time?"

Tachibana led the princess down a hallway, into a room, through another hallway, past a fountain, and down another hallway, until they finally came to a halt in front of a rather plain looking door.

"Um... you might want to be careful." Tachibana cautioned.

Shinji, looking totally unconcerned, entered the room, being careful to step over the bodies littering the floor. Don't worry, they weren't dead bodies. Just severely scratched people. The elegant curtains that once hung in the room were all torn to shreds, and sitting on top of a pile of curtain remains, feathers, and other inanimate objects was Akutsu, pleasantly licking his claws.

"Meow"

"Oh my precious kitty, did these people harm you?"

"Meow" Replied Akutsu.

"Oh you poor thing!" Said Princess Shinji as she picked up her cat and started petting him.

Tachibana slapped his forehead, there was really no point in trying to reason with Shinji and tell her that her cat was evil. He wouldn't be surprised if Akutsu smoked and rode a motorcycle.

But, that really is impossible. Let's try to keep this somewhat realistic.

Tachibana decided it was best to go get a doctor or something, so he left. On his way he noticed two guards that he was sure weren't there before. But he figured they were new so he focused his mind back on that darn cat.

When Tachibana rounded the corner out of sight, the two guards sighed out of relief and looked at each other.

"So you remember the plan, Ryoma?" The tall one asked the shorter one.

"Yeah, yeah. Geez Momo, I'm not an idiot." Replied Ryoma.

Momo tried not to laugh. "Okay, well this is going to be tricky. On the count of three…"

"One" Ryoma started.

"Twothree!" Finished Momo really fast.

"Hey!" Ryoma complained, but Momo was already running top speed at the room Princess Shinji was in.

The two broke down the door and with one swift movement hit Princess Shinji on the head with a sack full of blunt objects.

"Ow!" Cried the princess. "What was that for?"

Momo and Ryoma looked at each other, then back at the princess, but didn't say anything.

"Then what did you hit me with?"

"Um…door knobs." Momo answered.

"Well that hurt. Really, you shouldn't be running around hitting people with sacks of doorknobs. Especially me, the princess. If you have to hit someone with a sack of door knobs, though I don't see why you would, go hit the jester, David."

"Um, princess?" Ryoma asked. "Why aren't you knocked out?"

"Oh, is that what you were trying to do?" Asked Shinji. "Well obviously your sack isn't full enough. Or perhaps your knobs are too small. Oh wait…that sounded wrong…"

While Princess Shinji was muttering, Akutsu sensed that Momo and Ryoma were a danger to her. So he pounced on Ryoma and began clawing his face.

"AHHHH!" Ryoma screamed and tried to pull Akutsu off.

Instead of helping his partner, Momo did his best to remember the mission, and hit Princess Shinji on the head again. This time, she fell to the floor unconscious.

But don't worry, Shinji will be okay, we can't have our heroine die because of someone like Momo, can we?

Momo then put Princess Shinji in the wheelbarrow and pushed her out of the palace, with Ryoma close behind him having finally been able to get rid of Akutsu. The two boys managed to go unnoticed until they got back to the castle that they belonged to.

Meanwhile…

"You know Princess, I was thinking. Maybe if we put Akutsu in a box when you aren't…" Tachibana trailed off upon seeing that the room he had just entered was empty aside from the precious kitty Akutsu.

"Dammit. Maybe she ran away. I don't think the king will take this too well. I pity the fool who has to tell him."

Then Tachibana noticed something that he hadn't before. There was a letter lying on the ground. He ran over and picked it up before Akutsu could urinate on it. 'Couse that's what demonic cats do.

The letter went something like this:

_Deer Father, _

_i am sory but i had two ran away. i just cant stand the thot of marying someone i don't now. i have gone of to live in a remote village somewher that you cant find me. _

_Sory. _

_Love, your daughter, Shiji._

Tachibana shuddered.

_She doesn't even know how to spell her own name!_

After taking a mental note to tutor the princess more in English, he ran off to find someone to give the note to so that they could show it to the king.

"Uh…um…excuse me your highness?" Said Yuuta, the maid, meekly. "Um…it seems that there's some bad news…"

"We can't have turkey tonight?" Asked King Kabaji, becoming very depressed.

"No…that's not it." Yuuta took a deep breath, if the king was this depressed about not being able to eat turkey that night, he'd take this news ten times worse than anyone expected. Which is a lot. "It seems that, your daughter doesn't like the idea of marrying someone that she um…she just met. And so…she…might have…kinda…run…away…"

Yuuta quickly braced himself for the worse.

"What. Did. You. Say?" Asked Kabaji going into Doom! Mode.

Let's uh…take a peek over here and see what Tachibana is up to…

"That's odd." Said Tachibana to himself while studying the note. "Now that I think about it, the princess' English is better than this. And this is most definitely not her writing. That can only mean one thing…THE PRINCESS WAS KIDNAPPED!"

King Kabaji looked up from using Yuuta as his priority seat (Clearly he has never heard of the phrase "Don't shoot the messenger"). He took a deep breath and got up.

"We must find Princess Shinji. Guards! I want every remote village to be searched. I must go tell Prince Oshitari the bad news. I hope he does not decide to cancel the wedding."

After Tachibana got over the shock of King Kabaji saying about four whole sentences, he set off to the commoner's market. It would be horrible for the princess if her wedding were canceled. Even if she didn't really want to get married in the first place.

He knew exactly where to go.

Akira's Flower Shop.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ah, princess' tutor! Does Princess Shinji wish to see me again?" Asked Yukimura when she spotted Tachibana.

"No. There has been some trouble. I suspect that the princess has been kidnapped."

Kamio came out of no where and gasped.

"Yukimura the horticulturist, I'm going to need your help." Said Tachibana. "Kamio can come along too." He added, after receiving puppy dog eyes from said flower person.

After successfully smuggling the two commoners inside the castle, Tachibana unveiled his plan.

"Yukimura, you are going to pretend to be Princess Shinji until the real Princess Shinji can be found. Kamio, you can help me look for her."

"So, do we have any clues?" Kamio questioned, exited to be included in Tachibana's marvelous plan.

That earned a glare from Tachibana. "I'm still working on it. Maybe those guards had something to do with it. Now that I think about it, their uniforms seemed odd. I'm sure I have seen them before, but when…" Tachibana gasped. "That's it! They were Queen Kirihara's guards! QUEEN KIRIHARA KIDNAPPED THE PRINCESS!!"

Kamio let out a distressed cry that sounded like a 12 year old year girl. Yukimura and Tachibana stared at Kamio for a few minutes before he gestured for Tachibana to continue.

"Yukimura, I'm going to have to give you some lessons on how to be a proper princess. Of course, they won't be as detailed as the ones I gave Shinji, but it will keep anyone form discovering that you're just a commoner."

Kamio gasped. "Are allowed to call the princess that?"

"Call her what?" Asked Tachibana.

"Just 'Shinji'?"

"Um, sure."

Kamio cheered, but then remembered that Princess Shinji was kidnapped and might be in pain, and became serious.

While Tachibana is teaching Yukimura, let's have a look into what's happening with our beloved Princess Shinji.

"Those curtains really don't match the floor. Lots of people think those colours match, but they don't. Why do people think that? It's just silly. It's really cold in here, is that a draft I feel? I wouldn't be surprised if there was a draft in this warehouse. It really is old, I don't know how people can stay here. Then again, maybe if you've been here really long you would be okay with it. I guess I'm just not used to this place. But how can anyone expect me to be used to it when I suddenly wake up here after being hit over the head with a sack of doorknobs? I hope I don't have a concussion."

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Queen Kirihara ordered. "How is it that King Kabaji can say so little, and yet his daughter never shuts up!"

"That was rude. It probably comes from my mother's side. Or perhaps it's because my dad speaks so little that I feel the need to talk so much. It could be some sort of disorder, or a psychological problem-"

"BE QUIET! I didn't ask you!"

"But I'm the only one here."

"That's it!" Queen Kirihara interrupted and put some duck tape over Shinji's mouth. "Silence…is golden…"

Princess Shinji was currently in a room in the old warehouse, Queen Kirihara had just arrived to make sure that she had gotten there without any screw-ups on Momo and Ryoma's behalf.

Since Tachibana and Yukimura seem to be done with the training, lets check back with them.

"Ahem." Tachibana said as he entered a rather large and ornate room (probably the throne room, since the thrones were in this particular room) where King Kabaji sat on his throne while talking to a rather rich looking stranger.

"May I present" pause for dramatic effect "Princess Shinji!" he announced in a grand manner. It would have been more effective if he had trumpeters, but let's not get carried away.

And in walked Princess Shinji/a.k.a. Yukimura.

"I am ever so sorry father. I should not have run away." She said slowly with a pause in between each and every word.

Tachibana sweatdropped. Maybe they should have practiced some more.

"Princess Shinji, it is an honor to meet you." Said the handsome stranger as he kissed her hand. "I am Prince Oshitari. Your father and I were just discussing whether or not to cancel our wedding. However, since you have returned I think that we should let bygones be bygones."

The noble Prince Oshitari then turned to the King and asked, "King Kabaji, have you decided on a date for the wedding?"

"Usu. Four days from today."

"Prince Oshitari, would you like me to show you around the castle? Everyone always says that I'm such a good tour guide." Said Yukimura in a feeble attempt at one of Shinji's rants.

The sun was high in the sky and shinning brightly and all the flowers were in full bloom. Needless to say, it was the perfect day.

The two were in the courtyard after the tour was given. There were Sakura Flowers around them and a gentle breeze that made Yukimura's hair blow in a way that it wouldn't matter if she were dressed in rags, she would still look like a princess.

"I should be getting back to my own castle now. I really enjoyed today. If it's okay with you, I would like to come back again tomorrow." Prince Oshitari said in his sexy accent, leaving without waiting for a response from our commoner in disguise.

When Yukimura got back to the princess's room she flopped onto the bed in a very unprincessy manner.

"Have a good day Yukimura?" asked Kamio, who had been the sitting room of the princess apartments.

"Oh Kamio, this is terrible. I think I may have fallen in love with the prince." Yukimura sighed.

"Oh my God! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Kamio asked.

"Yes, but how are we going to get a monkey to use dental floss?"

Kamio looked confused, but took this as an opportunity to not suggest that Yukimura marries Oshitari and Shinji marry himself, as he had planned to.

Before either person could say anything, Tachibana came into the room.

"Good job today Yukimura, we'll have some more lessons another time." He then turned to Kamio. "It's already dark out, I think you and I should begin to rescue the real Princess Shinji."

Despite how dangerous and serious this was, Kamio couldn't help but feel happy that was going to see Princess Shinji again. He couldn't wait to be her knight in shining armour.

An hour later, after arriving in a small plain carriage, Kamio and Tachibana snuck inside the castle and knocked out two guards and stole their uniforms. This way, they could look for the princess without having too sneak around too much.

They had checked about five rooms when they saw Sengoku round the corner. Kamio and Tachibana did their best to look natural, but Sengoku stopped them in the hallway.

"Who are you two and what are you doing here?" He asked them.

"Why, we're just two guards, doing our duty and protecting the castle." Replied Tachibana nervously.

"You're not one of Queen Kirihara's guards!"

"And just how would you know that?" Kamio asked.

"Because Queen Kirihara only has ten guards, and I know all of them by face!" Sengoku retorted, then yelled as loud as he could. "GUARDS! INTRUDERS! ARREST THEM!"

Kamio and Tachibana looked at each other and cursed, but they didn't have anytime to get away as Bobby Max, Sanada and Taka in Burning! Mode came and knocked out the two intruders and brought them over to the warehouse where Princess Shinji was.

"Oh Kamio, are you okay?" exclaimed Princess Shinji the moment she saw him, completely ignoring Tachibana. "This is all that evil queen's fault. She really has to stop having people hit over the head. Do you have a concussion? I know I thought I did for a while there, but it was a false alarm. Did they hit you with doorknobs too? That's so inconsiderate. I wonder where they could get a sack full of doorknobs from in the first place. Oh! Tachibana is here too! Did you know that Kamio? I wonder when he got here."

I think Yukimura is feeling a bit lonely. Why don't we check back in with her.

"Ugg, Kamio and Tachibana should have returned my now. I wonder what is taking them so long. Maybe they were captured." Said Yukimura as she paced back and forth inside her sitting room.

The pauper decided to go to bed. Maybe in the morning Tachibana and Kamio would have arrived.

Morning came, and yet there was still no sign of the two would be rescuers.

Prince Oshitari came again, and they spent the entire day wandering around the village, talking and laughing.

At the end of the day, with still no sign of Kamio or Tachibana, Yukimura went to bed, praying that tomorrow, everything would be alright.

Meanwhile, over with Queen Kirihara…

"Aww, my ikle baby boy is all grown up now." She said in a voice you would use when talking to a baby.

"Mom, what are you talking about? And stop talking to me like I'm a baby." Demanded Prince Mizuki.

"Why, you're wedding tomorrow with Princess Shinji."

"But didn't she escape?" He asked.

"Escape? Of course she didn't escape! I was over there this morning."

"But I overheard one of the servants, who has a relative working for King Kabaji, talking to her friend about how Princess Shinji had run away but returned soon after. I just assumed that our guards are idiots, and went back to rearranging my closet."

"Well the Princess most definitely did not escape. This can mean only one thing. An IMPOSTER!" Dun dun dun!

"Mizuki, I want you to go to King Kabaji's castle tomorrow morning and expose the fake princess. Make sure you're home for lunch. Your wedding is in the evening so you will have plenty of time. Don't forget to brush your teeth."

"Moooooooom!" Whined Prince Mizuki.


	4. Chapter 4

**We aren't romance writers. We don't write romance. Don't hate us for the romantic scences you will experience** **in this chapter. Laugh. But don't hate.**

The next morning, after he brushed his teeth, Mizuki made his way to King Kabaji's castle. There was a big ball taking place today in honour of Princess Shinji (Yukimura) and Prince Oshitari, so there would be a lot of royalty going into the castle and it wouldn't be difficult for Prince Mizuki to sneak in.

Once he entered the ballroom, he stayed to the side and watched Yukimura, waiting for her to be the center of attention so that he could reveal her secret when everyone was watching.

After a few hours of hanging around the snack table drinking punch, it was announced that "Princess Shinji" and Prince Oshitari were to share a dance and no one but them was allowed to. So naturally, everyone watched the couple, and Mizuki knew that this was the perfect chance.

So he pushed through the crowd and pounced on Yukimura, knocking her to the ground. Before anyone had the chance to yell "Rape!" he spoke:

"This is not the real Princess Shinji!" He declared. Everyone gasped.

"Prove it!" Demanded Prince Oshitari.

"Uh…well, this imposter really doesn't look all that much like the real princess." Mizuki began. "You see, this person here has bigger eyes and wavy hair. And she's so much more pale than Princess Shinji, she has a smaller chin too. So ha!"

Everyone gasped again, this time it was followed by two guards coming and taking Yukimura away. Prince Mizuki did a little victory dance but it was interrupted by Oshitari.

"What are you even doing here?" Prince Oshitari asked. "You weren't invited, and you had no reason to tell everyone that it was not truly Princess Shinji."

"Actually, I did." Mizuki explained. "If the imposter were to marry you, then legally Princess Shinji would be married to you, because she would have written down her name. And that would mean that I wouldn't be able to marry the real Princess Shinji!"

Mizuki paused, then realized what he just said.

"Then that means…" It dawned on Prince Oshitari that the real Princess Shinji was in danger, and so was the fake that he fell in love with.

And so Prince Mizuki ran. He ran like he never had before. He was surprised when he reached his own castle.

"I out ran them all, Nfu." But then he realized that he hadn't actually been chased.

Meanwhile, the charming Prince Oshitari was trying to come up with a way to free his beloved pauper from the cold, cruel dungeon that she currently resided in.

"I wonder if I…no, no, no. That won't work. But if... yes, and then…no, wait. If I did that, then maybe… yes, that's it!" And with that he took off.

Far below our heroic prince, in the deep dark dungeons, sat Yukimura.

"What is he talking about! Of course I look like Princess Shinji. Well, not really. Its surprising nobody noticed before this. Anyway, I need to get out of here so I can help the princess. Actually, I'm a little tired. Maybe I could take a nap first."

And so Yukimura curled up in a little ball in the corner of her cell and fell asleep.

That is however, until the cell door started to open.

"You. Get up. You are to be taken to the king for sentencing." Came the incredibly sexy voice of the guard, dressed in a full suit of armour, standing just outside the door.

Yukimura allowed the guard to escort her until they got outside. Then however, she decided to make a run for it. The plan backfired though, when she realized that the guard had a firm grip on her arm, and her futile attempts to get away mildly amused him and he started to chuckle.

Then Yukimura remembered the guard's sexy voice. Put that together with the chuckle. Something clicked inside her brain. "Hey wait a minute! I know that voice!"

Yukimura reached for the guard's helmet and removed it, she was relieved to see that it was none other than Prince Oshitari!

"Prince Oshitari!" Cried Yukimura. "Why did you rescue me? I…I mean…thank you, your highness." She went to bow, trying to hide her tears, sad that she could no longer be with Oshitari.

"Stop, I will have none of that." Said Prince Oshitari, grabbing Yukimura's hand. "I don't care if you're not really Princess Shinji, I fell in love with _you._"

"Really?" Yukimura looked into Oshitari's deep violet eyes. "I couldn't be happier to hear you say that, Oshitari."

"Princess." He said playfully.

They leaned in closer each other, with intentions to kiss, but Yukimura pulled away at the last second with a gasp, making Prince Oshitari fall over.

"We have to save Princess Shinji, Kamio and Tachibana!" She said.

Prince Oshitari stood up and brushed himself off.

"Yes, that would be a good idea." He kept his thoughts about kissing being a better idea to himself and brought Yukimura over to the carriage he arrived in and removed two of the horses, giving one to Yukimura.

"Can you ride?" He asked her, handing over the reigns.

"Let's find out." Replied Yukimura in that tone that protagonists use whenever something like this happens.

"No, seriously." Oshitari said taking the reigns back. "If you can't ride, I'm not going to let you on a horse."

"Oh." Said Yukimura. "Well then, no, I can't."

Prince Oshitari sighed and helped Yukimura on the back of his horse, which he had already mounted, and somehow made the other horse follow them to Queen Kirihara's castle, so that Kamio, Princess Shinji and Tachibana could all ride on it.

Or Tachibana could walk or something.

Let's slide on over and see how our captives are holding up.

"Well this isn't what I expected." Said Kamio as he strolled up the isle clutching a bouquet of pretty pink flowers. Tachibana walked beside him holding an identical bouquet of flowers. Yes, they were the flower girls for Prince Mizuki and Princess Shinji's wedding. Well it could be worse. At least they aren't wearing dresses…

The wedding was taking place on one of the well-manicured lawns surrounding the palace of Queen Kirihara. The isle was more like a red carpet with chairs arranged on either side. Needless to say, the bride's side was rather empty. At the end of the carpet stood a white archway covered in vines and flowers. And under the arch stood Prince Mizuki.

As soon as Tachibana and Kamio reached the end of the carpet music started playing and Princess Shinji stomped down the isle muttering to her self.

"I can't believe I'm doing this. This isn't even how I would have decorated. Who chose these flowers? There are bees everywhere. Oh, I'm starting to rant again. People say I tent to do that. I don't like the word rant. It doesn't have a good feel to it…"

Princess Shinji then noticed that the music had stopped.

"That's odd… I was sure there was music before. Oh, I reached the front that's why."

It was Kamio who heard it first. There seemed to be some sort of commotion near by. It wasn't until the people in the seats started to get up, yell curses, or just run away screaming that he noticed what the cause of the original commotion was.

A herd of dental floss wielding monkeys charged past scaring away anyone who hadn't already run away screaming.

This left Kamio and Tachibana alone with Prince Mizuki, who looked utterly shocked, Princess Shinji, and a few guards.

"So I guess we just wait around here till the minister comes back?" asked Tachibana. Everyone glared at him.

Kamio started tapping his foot. "What the hell are you doing?" asked Tachibana, getting annoyed way too easily. He was probably edgy from all the glares he received.

"Getting into the rhythm." Replied Kamio, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well stop it." Tachibana snapped, hitting Kamio across the back of the head.

"I am SO in it now!" exclaimed Kamio, and proceeded to knock out Prince Mizuki.

Then, out of nowhere, Prince Oshitari came galloping across the lawn, he stopped right in front of the trio in a very heroic way, with Yukimura still sitting behind him.

"Oh, Prince Oshitari." Said Princess Shinji. "Just the person I wanted to talk to actually."

"What?" Said both Kamio and Prince Oshitari.

"Regarding our wedding, I don't know if the idea of marrying someone who you hardly know is annoying in any situation, or just because I'm a girl and I get emotional and hormonal-"

"Okay, yeah um…" Said Prince Oshitari. "I don't think this is a good time to talk about this."

Sure enough, the remaining guards had begun to advance on the five, wielding weapons like swords, maces, spears, anything medieval and pointy.

But then, Prince Oshitari drew his sword, that I just decided he had now, and looked at the others.

"Come on, take out any weapons you have!" They all looked at him like he was stupid.

"Princess Shinji, Kamio and I were just taken captive, you really think we have any weapons?" Asked Tachibana.

"Actually," Said Kamio, reaching into his sock. "I have this pocket knife. Here, princess, you can use it, I'm in the rhythm, I don't need it."

"Wow, thanks..." Shinji said as she took it from him. "A sock knife…A sweaty sock knife"

"Enough!" Yelled Bobby Max, the leader of the guards. "Attack!"

What happens next will be a glorious fight that rival my romance writing skills!

Burning Taka aimed his sword at Tachibana, but Prince Oshitari intercepted and blocked it with his sword. The two then began a valiant sword fight in which Oshitari got medieval on Taka's ass. It ended with Taka's sword several feet away from him, reverting him back to Normal Taka, causing him to run away or something because I don't want to kill him.

Kamio was engaged in mortal combat with Saeki. The two were throwing punches and blocking kicks, dodging left, right, jumping up and down, they were all over the place until Kamio released his Sonic Bullet (Even though I don't remember what that does, let's pretend it's some badass move that makes him win the fight okay?) and Saeki passed out on the ground.

Yukimura was somehow holding her own against Kaidou, she had even managed to get out of the way in time when he used his special move against her. When Kaidou was recovering from using his move, she snuck up behind him and karate chopped him, needless to say, he fell to the ground unconscious.

The battle raged on for half an hour before our heroes couldn't fight anymore. And just when they thought all was lost, just when the guards were about to advance in victory, and just when they all thought for sure they were going to die…Tachibana whipped out his pistol, which he kept for safety reasons, and shot the remaining guards.

Kamio, Princess Shinji, Prince Oshitari and Yukimura all stared at him with wide eyes.

"What?" He asked.

"You had that the WHOLE time and you didn't use it!?" Kamio screamed. "Not when the guards arrested us, not when you could have shot the lock and set us free, not until we all thought this was our last breath?! And not to mention, you were the one who said we were just take captive and wouldn't have weapons!!"

"Well sorry!" Said Tachibana getting all defensive, then again, wouldn't you? "I forgot it was there!"

"Forgot it was there?!" Kamio was officially pissed off.

"Stop fighting you two!" Yelled Princess Shinji and ran over to Kamio. "It's not nice to fight, especially now that we're all friends. The point is that we're all safe and happy now, regardless if Tachibana forgot that he had a gun in his pocket." Shinji paused. "How do you forget about a fully loaded pistol in your pocket?"

Tachibana shrugged and started to pet it. "It's just part of me now, I am the pistol, the pistol is me…"

Everyone took a few steps away.

Kamio suddenly got a thought. "Hey Princess Shinji, where were _you_ during the heroic battle sequence? I didn't see you at all."

"Oh, I was carving"

"CARVING" Came the outraged shouts from Yukimura, Tachibana, Kamio and Prince Oshitari.

"So while we were out there risking our lives, possibly drawing our last breaths, you decided to do some CARVING!!" screamed Tachibana.

"It better have been something good" said Prince Oshitari.

"Of course it was good! I carved a mushroom." Said Princess Shinji, showing everyone the mushroom that she was very proud of.

"You carved a MUSHROOM?! That wasn't what I gave you the pocket knife for." Exclaimed Kamio

"Yea, like I could do anything with this butter knife" the princess said sarcastically. "Besides, I made it for you. Don't you like it? I really thought you would like it. I don't know if you like mushrooms or not, but I figured that, since you're a horticulturist, and mushrooms grow from the ground or something, that you might appreciate it. I guess not. I worked really hard on it, for like, half an hour, but since you don't like it I might as well throw it away. Although I was really proud of it."

"Wait Princess, don't cry!" said Kamio as he put an arm around the princess because sure enough, she had started to sniffle. Not cry. Princess Shinji doesn't cry. "I really like the um… wooden mushroom."

"Oh Kamio, do you really mean it?" and then she hugged him because she was just so happy that he liked her wooden mushroom.

"Um, yeah, so anyway, Princess Shinji, you obviously don't want to marry me, and no offence, but I really don't want to marry you, so why don't we just call the whole thing off. Now let's get out of here. The guards might wake up any second and I think we have fought enough for today." Prince Oshitari was clearly the only one using their head.

And so they all mounted their horses, Kamio and Princess Shinji on one, and Prince Oshitari and Yukimura on the other and they rode off into the sunset.

Tachibana was left to find his own mode of transportation


End file.
